o, there was this one time, waaaaaay back in early January, that I went on a cruise. A boat, of the oceanic variety, carried me and a small band of several thousand souls around Cuba, and stopped at places... and then came back. The cruise came to me by way of a very generous gift from my parent-in-laws (is there a better term than "parent-in-laws"? It sounds so... legally binding, and at the very least contractual in nature). Sally's parents have been on something like 43 cruises, to every conceivable place you can wedge a boat the size of Manhattan Island. I believe if there were a cruise line that would get you to the grocery store via the Arctic Circle they would be all over it.

With such a seaworthy resume, Sally's Mom & Dad deftly planned all facets of the event. They included all their children, children's spouses (I fall into this bucket), and grandchildren. I've written in the past about the marathon-like aspects of my wife's Christmas Day celebrations; Every contingency planned for, the day meticulously organized for maximum Christmasosity, with a full and complete home-cooked meal served every two hours. Evidently the cruise industry has been spying on the family Heinzel. It was like a weeklong Christmas bonanza, except with shorts and sandals, and the snowy front yard was actually the Caribbean Sea.

I've never been on such an adventure before, by which I mean I had never spent a solid week with my in-laws. In point of fact you don't actually spend a huge amount of time anyone unless you're all in the same cabin or right next door to each other. The ship is so large, and the expectation to Go Do Something so high, that you end up out of your room a lot and really don't run into your family unless you make plans ahead of time. Given that it's a legal requirement to eat or be keel-hauled, we did have an number of meals together. The food is... copious. I believe there's some sort of inter-dimensional rift through which they gather the quantities of food they carry. There is pretty much every food conceivable available 24 hours a day. Fancy or plain, exotic or common... they have no lack for food. We ate very well, and very often.

A number of days would find us docked at various ports, with the option to head out into the local countryside to see the sights and get in trouble. You could also sign up for more organized outings, including various warm weather surf & sand sorts of things. Sally and I signed up a for a bike ride in the Caymans and tour aboard Segways in Cozumel Mexico. Due to some foul weather, the epic Segway journey was canceled - needless to say Sally was crushed. For the moment, I'm putting up a few sets of photos from the earlier portion of the trip. I'll get the others processed... eventually.

It's a lot to take in over what becomes a short amount of time. I spent much of that time worrying about work & my business, which led to whining about the speed & cost of the wireless satellite connection. I need to learn to relax a bit and enjoy the ride (maybe later, after I get more work done). My idea of relaxing would have been a tour of the engine room, which everyone laughed at. To me, the only thing as exceptional as the heavy depths of the water we sailed on was the force required to push us through it. The scale of the machinery needed to drive the beast we were aboard had to be truly staggering.

Undaunted by the inability to see the innards of the boat, Sally and I wandered around its periphery taking photos of various bits and pieces. It really is amazing that the thing floats, and they'll let anyone who can afford it go for a ride. At every edge, if you really wanted to throw yourself or someone else overboard, it would be incredibly easy to do. These days, we're so insulated from danger it's kind of refreshing to see the raw face of nature staring back at you from the dark blue depths and know there's very little to be done if Something Bad Happens. It's cute how comfortable & controlled everything inside the ship is, when weighed against the forces of nature crouched just outside the hull. It's easy to see the attraction people have to the size & power of the sea. Ironically, there's so much meant to distract you inside the boat I fear people miss the chance to stare into the abyss surrounding them just outside. It's pretty breathtaking, and also available 24 hours a day while on board. I'm thankful Sally's parents let me see a part of Nature I hadn't paid much attention to before. Maybe I should join the Navy.