The Sad Sack, or The Grapes of Wrath
Monday, August the 25th at 9:32 PM
in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Eight (2 months, 3 weeks ago)
T
his post is rated "G" for "Guys Will Cringe." You've been warned.
I've told this story a few times now, and I find that I dress it up with a bit of drama and tension. I'm not sure I need to do that here, for the clear-eyed few that visit this site for hard-hitting, deep analysis of the world around us.
I was awoken the other night by the nether-region-piercing claw of our five pound kitten Samson. That same night, coincidentally, my wife was awoken by the eardrum-piercing screams of her 180+ pound husband. The cat drew blood, I found the next day, and also a robust stream of colorful expletives and high pitched howls of injury.
Everyone learned valuable lessons the other night;
Andrew learned that no matter how hot it is in the bedroom, it's better to sweat under several layers of bed coverings than trust in the thin cotton weave of a bed sheet and boxers.
Sally learned that maybe it's not so bad to have to sit down to pee, and that her husband's desire to de-claw the cats may be inspired by more than concern for the furniture.
And Sam, well he learned a lot about the reaction time of a flailing, angry owner, the flight dynamics of an unladen 5 pound feline, and gravity.
3 Comments
1
2 months, 3 weeks ago
Shep
permalink
Ouch. My reaction to this post was that of a frightened turtle... I have recurring dreams of being castrated by kitten.
Something rattling around up there?
Fancy comments are frowned upon - your WWW links will work though.
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Last words
1 week, 6 days ago
1 week, 6 days ago
I had never thought of flinging feces, darn it, that would be much more entertaining than my usual method of arguing about politics, baseless accusations and bewildering metaphores.
view
2 weeks ago
Mmmmm.... sharpies.
view
3 weeks ago
I saw this as the daily photo, and it totally looked like a picture of outer space! But instead it's an egg on a car.
view
1 month ago
if("location"=="bathroom");
this.user.gotoAndPlay("decide #1or#2");
else(user.holdframe);
There ya go - that outta work. view
this.user.gotoAndPlay("decide #1or#2");
else(user.holdframe);
There ya go - that outta work. view
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